August 8th, 2011
Thoughout the entire course of my life, one question remains up for debate on a continuous basis, one involving religion. From questions concerning which religion is the right one, to the question of whether or not a God exists, a part of me has an inner curiosity to find the answer. Then there’s the other part. With all the sufferings and misfortunes caused by religion by the extreme sects of all religions, (The Crusades, Terrorism, etc.), comes a doubt that any of them could possibly be the right one for me. When I was a kid, I went to Buddhist temple for every week for roughly 2 years with my sisters. I absolutely hated it. They tried teaching me Vietnamese, and I failed in learning every single aspect of the language. I dreaded every Sunday subsequently. Even worse, they treated all the kids like we were in military, making us ALL do pushups when only some kids misbehaved. Still, the tenets of buddhism remain deeply rooted in my subconscious – to generally not be materialistic and try to follow the path to enlightenment. That’s why I still don’t focus much on posessions or even clothes I have, but instead on the value of friendship, and basic necessities such as food and shelter.
Still, roughly two years ago in my sophomore year of college I began going to church. In a time of personal crisis, I attempted to reconcile my emotard state with a search for some sort of spiritual solution. It didn’t work. Today though, helped me realize that religion is much more than just believing in something, but involves a sense of community and action.
After working in the morning at EHS, eating Panda Express for lunch, and going home shortly thereafter to relax, I went to Doyle Park to meet up with Tran Tran and 11 strangers for a “dinner”, as well as a Bible Study. There, I saw the light, metaphorically of course, as seen in my picture of the day. Now you’re probably wondering why I would commit to going to a religious thing that I probably wouldn’t have gone to unless I was morbidly depressed. Honestly, I did it cause Tran’s a good friend to me, and she’s been pushing me for the last two years to go to this. As a favor to her, I decided it was worth giving it a shot (I obviously had my doubts though). However, in encountering 11 strangers there, I realized all of them were extremely welcoming and nice. Maybe it’s a sign of my improved social ability to talk to a group of complete strangers, but a part of me sensed they all at least generally were good people. We had dinner in the form of hot dogs (bbq’ed) with bacon, chicken, baked beans, among other things. I conversed with quite a few people, notably a conversation with some Korean girls about Korean music and Korean dramas. Afterwards, was the religious aspect – starting with the singing of some religious song, which was relatively entertaining (reminding me of glee club), and then the dissecting of a specific Bible verse. I still highly doubt every event listed in the New Testament actually took place, but it was nice to see a group of people around me that were so engaged in Bible-dissecting activity, and able to apply it to their owns for self-improvement. I felt a spiritual connection at that point with all of them. Afterwards, we split up, and I met a guy named Chris who told me a heartwarming story about how he found God after his grandmother died and his father died from termianl cancer. I was honest with him telling him my genuine doubts about religion because of all the evils that can come out of it, as well as the annoying fundamentalists that always try to convert you (example: library walk Jesus guy). Being a religious studies major, he totally understood, and didn’t judge me at all. We had a nice conversation about the importance of family, and I told him I didn’t feel at all close to my family. He at that instant asked if he could pray for me, and I nodded accordingly. It was really sweet of him to pray for me to get closer to my family, and I knew at that moment that he was genuine in his belief in God. Though I don’t know if I’ll ever reach that point, it’s nice to know the spiritual and inspiring power of religion. He also told me that one of his atheist professors told him something that will long remain in the back of my head: “Religion is like a university. UCSD could be considered a religion, because it’s a group of people that believe education is a means to success, and have a common goal.” In that sense, religion is about community, and I genuinely believe that religion is more or less not all about God, but also about the power of community, and the bonds you make in establishing a common belief.
In summary, I’m glad I went. And if you’re asking if it converted me, the quick answer is a no, but a better answer is I’m still in search for the answers.
