July 19th, 2011
Me: Mom, where are we?
Mom: Could it be…. are we in hell? Are we being punished for something? GOD. GOD I’m SORRY!!!!!
Dad: Why would we be in hell? We are quite an angelic family.
Mom: Then why the eff did you stay at the office late last night? Clearly you were cheating on me with another woman.
Dad: Excuse me? At least I didn’t have sex with the first guy I dated.
Mom: That’s totally irrelevant. If you’re cheating on me I need to know now.
Dad: NO. SHIT. At least I don’t go shopping and blow our son’s college savings away.
Me: I can’t take this anymore.
I ran away from my parents ashamed to see them fighting all the time, and what I eventually entered became a dream-like state, full of whims and wonders. Having no parents now, I was definitely an orphan child. I saw the real world, and I saw all the evils that were a part of it. Eventually I was adopted by a nice Mexican family in Stanton, and I began subsequently attending Robert M. Pyles elementary school. While there, I made friends with a nice little Mexican gang, and I encountered one of the only white kids at the school, who I will name “John Doe”. John Doe forever changed my life, and this is the story of how he saved it. In Kindergarden, this idiot got chased around by two cute and foxy ladies, but he was too scared of them, and he subsequently pretended to faint. I eventually found out he fell asleep, but that was before everyone thought he fainted. He got taken to the school nurse and eventually taken to a nearby hospital, where his dad would eventually pick him up. I found out later that his family wasn’t able to afford the hospital trip, and basically had to pay out of pocket, because of their lack of health insurance. FAIL, on their part. In 2nd grade, this kid was way too shy and subsequently the teacher forced participation on his ass. Good move on her part. In 3rd grade, me and a few of my mexican peers followed him home and beat him up. He must have outsmarten us though, because we couldn’t find his ass to beat the rest of the week. Elementary school only became more and more awkward for this kid, as he kept talking to trees at lunch, and not having any friends. What a freaky kid. I was legitimately concerned for his mental health, but somehow in 4th grade he was able to secure the position of class president in an after-school program called Anaheim Achieves (but this was before he ran into the teacher’s car with a bike). Eventually he transferred, and I thought I would be eliminated from his life forever, but I was sadly mistaken.
He didn’t know me, but I knew him. I found out that I was moving to Garden Grove in 5th grade, and I subsequently encountered him YET AGAIN. His antics continued as he had no friends at lunch, just hanging out against walls all day talking to himself. Eventually it was pathetic – everyone was talking shit behind his back, and I knew I had to do something. I told the teacher about it, and she went up to him and said “John… isn’t it about time you made friends”. He subsequently did, and life moved on…. Flash forward to 6th grade, where he got rejected by a girl (who went up to him and called him gay). Joshua Jaramillo somehow made him a bit tougher, by teasing him all the time, but he was still a pansy for all I knew. I still had to deal with him for all of Junior High though, where he spent a majority of his time daydreaming about a white girl he liked (but had no chance with). He never talked to girls, EVER.
High school was a little bit better for him, as he began talking to girls freshman year. Girls he liked for their looks would talk to him for his smarts, and use him to get homework help. I felt legitimately bad for him. Sophomore year eventually helped shift him a bit, but he started liking a girl who just so happened to be a tease. She went around talking to various nerdy boys everywhere. He ended up getting hurt, as usual, but shifted his time around to pursuing other endeavors, such as heading a club called “The Volunteers of Orange County”. While there, his leadership skills improved quite a bit, and his self-confidence up a little from it. His first girlfriend was received his Senior Year, but she ended up being not the right girl for him in the long run. He somehow even got Winter Formal King in Senior Year, even though he wasn’t that popular of a guy. The nerds somehow managed to love him though. I was glad to have not been smart enough to follow him to college, because I was tired of reading and hearing, and seeing all his sad antics.
By this point though, I entirely missed my actual parents, not really at all caring for the Mexi-parents that had adopted me. They resorted to drugs, not being able to take care of their 10 adopted kids to get money from the government. I subsequently ran away, where I kept wishing to go back home to the place where I belonged – the beach that I belonged. I missed my parents. I knew even though they fought that in the long run they loved one another. Eventually spiritually the gods told me to go wish on a magical fountain to make my dreams come true – that ultimate fountain would be in Revelle, right back at UCSD. While there, I encountered a magical fairy who told me how to get my wishes to come true. The task was simple, yet difficult: MAKE JOHN DOE HAPPY. I knew I had my work cut out for me.
I stalked John Doe from afar as he had a joyous year with his freshman residence hall in Warren, making videos, and chilling. Still, the boy was a hopeless romantic, still liking a girl from Garden Grove (who already rejected him early). He wasn’t fully happy, only partially at this point. He eventually got a job at the Career Services Center, and made some money from that, but with his parents still paying for most of his college tuition, he felt extremely guilty. Subsequently, I helped secured him a job at Conference Services for the summer so he could secure the money necessary to pay back his parents. The result? DISASTER. The summer, he was extremely homesick, not having a ton of friends at UCSD to hang out with, not to mention the fact that he was still heads over heels for a girl who would eventually reject him at his brother’s wedding. Subsequently, he partied his way out of some of that tragedy, only getting more and more depressed as a subsequent result. I tried helping him. In the fall he rushed a fraternity, and I tried to secure him a position, but it ultimately failed as Lambda Chi rejected him. His sophomore year only became more and more tragic as his roommates had internal drama, not to mention the fact that he got brother-zoned by a member of his floor family. Still, he had various love interests he was pursuing, now having a healthy and stable job at Environment, Health, and Safety.
I reached my threshold Junior Year, when John Doe became overwhelmed and swept away with Mexican bullies not from Pyles, but in ICRA. Having not having to deal with roommate drama anymore (still he didn’t talk to 2/3’s of his roommates), he had to deal with the internal cohesion that was ICRA – the power struggle, the conflict, and the asshole of a president. Still, the best thing he got out of the club was his girlfriend, who now became one of his knights in shining armor, or should I say Gold (Ron Paul 2012). Life would come and go, and eventually in the summer he would move into his new apartment, and deal with his new wonderful roommates. With still no future intact, I realized it would be extremely difficult to make his life extremely happy, but then he got a job at ThinkTogether, where he realized his passion was in teaching. Eventually, I received a note at my door one day, that told me of his 200th day, the day where he would admit happiness. Here’s what it said:
Dear life,
Today I realized I am happy. Today I realized I should be happy, because everything that I essentially wanted in life I have. Now, the only thing left to do is to strive for more happiness, and eventually reach my personal goal of self-actualization and perfection.
I derive happiness from knowing that I had the basic needs I have in life. The ability to wake up in the morning with a bed, with an apartment, and with food in my fridge. The ability for me to take the bus to work, go to Popeyes realizing it’s not open until 10:00 AM in the morning, and subsequently rush over to Jack in the Box in an effort to get food. Knowing what made me happy in the past, controls my happiness in the future. My mom always forced my dad and sister to buy me a Jumbo Jack wherever I was sad. That doesn’t mean I needed to be sad to be happy from it though, because this morning after going to EHS, I went straight to Jack in the Box to derive happiness from one of its sources: FOOD.
I derive happiness from knowing what the future holds and having jobs. Today, after going to both Environment, Health, and Safety, and ThinkTogether, I realized my future is probably not in officework, but rather somewhere related to the field of education. I’m not sure of this as a fact, but this is a definitely a career path I might want to pursue in the immediate future. Today, essentially I realized through all the conflict mediation I had that I am fit to perform my duty of teaching if ever I need be do so. Lunch was great, me instructing the kids to “not date until after marriage” or until you “get a medical school degree”. It was hilarious, and they laughed it up. Group 2 especially. I had Group 3 for film first, and they were extremely rowdy and difficult to control. I felt proud of myself though for being able to get one kid to apologize to another when she was sad he was poking her pet unicorn. They let bygones be bygones and rekindled in the precious bond of friendship. Group 4 was a challenge for math though, because they couldn’t decide who won Jeopardy, so I gave them all the tickets and was like: YOU GUYS CHOOSE THE WINNER. They ended up splitting all the tickets evenly, still angry at the ultimate result. Either way, somebody would have been upset though if I chose one team over another for winning, so this was the fairest way. I’d rather have them all be mad at me, than for one group to be mad at another for winning what was rightfully theirs. Group 2 at the end of the day definitely put a smile on my face: the Twitter movie folks being absolutely hilarious, and at the same time another group telling me they already filmed all their scenes at home in the park and will edit it themselves. Wonderful. <24. At the end of the night I would edit all their films and realize how much I will definitely miss ThinkTogether, Waigenheim, and working with kids. Though they’re a bit younger than the folks I want to teach, the experiences I’ve had there will ultimately last a lifetime. The money derived from my two jobs provide me some financial stability in being able to pay both rent and tuition, and live out some luxury (in being able to eat whatever I want – Phil’s especially).
I derive happiness knowing I have people around me that love me for who I am. My wonderful girlfriend Geetha, whom I hung out after work today, and always makes me feel at home. I’m allowed to drink her Orange Juice whenever I want, use her restroom whenever I want (as long as I don’t abuse toilet paper privileges), and do whatever’s fun with her whenever we decide. We went to my place today, where she cooked amazing pasta that savored in my mouth deliciously. The flavors all came into one, and my love for her matched my love for the pasta: HIGH IN CALORIES, HIGH IN CHOLESTEROL, AND HIGH IN VOLUME AND QUANTITY AND QUALITY. We bused on over to Ralph’s, where we both bought things (me buying Pasta), (her buying Soda), and went back to my place to chill for a bit, before she left. With her gone, I was a little bit lonely, until Tyler and Lauren came to keep me company. They talked to me, and we had a swell old time chilling as roommates do. Through all the roommate drama I’ve had (freshman year being me being anti-alcohol), sophomore year (Chou-Torres drama), and junior year (no drama, but not feeling in place with Kunal/Steven), I think this year is when it all changes. I’ve definitely grown a bigger bond towards Manuel, and we plan to watch Human Centipede at one point. I ended the night writing this letter to myself, to life, to Day 200, and to you.
With those words written by John Doe on Day 200, the curse was lifted, and I fell back in place where I belonged, the sandcastle with my wonderful white parents, building a castle in the hot, hot sun.
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| On this day in 1799, during Napoleon Bonaparte’s Egyptian campaign, a French soldier discovers a black basalt slab inscribed with ancient writing near the town of Rosetta, about 35 miles north of Alexandria. The irregularly shaped stone contained fragments of passages written in three different scripts: Greek, Egyptian hieroglyphics and Egyptian demotic. The ancient Greek on the Rosetta Stone told archaeologists that it was inscribed by priests honoring the king of Egypt, Ptolemy V, in the second century B.C. More startlingly, the Greek passage announced that the three scripts were all of identical meaning. The artifact thus held the key to solving the riddle of hieroglyphics, a written language that had been “dead” for nearly 2,000 years. When Napoleon, an emperor known for his enlightened view of education, art and culture, invaded Egypt in 1798, he took along a group of scholars and told them to seize all important cultural artifacts for France. Pierre Bouchard, one of Napoleon’s soldiers, was aware of this order when he found the basalt stone, which was almost four feet long and two-and-a-half feet wide, at a fort near Rosetta. When the British defeated Napoleon in 1801, they took possession of the Rosetta Stone. HEH. |
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| The U.S. House on Tuesday night passed the “cut, cap and balance” deficit reduction plan backed by tea party conservatives but dismissed by President Barack Obama, who offered strong praise for another proposal put together by a bipartisan group of senators. The so-called Gang of Six plan — drafted by three Democratic and three Republican senators — presents a possible compromise to Obama and congressional leaders as they approach a deadline for a deal on cutting federal deficits in order to gain Republican support for raising the federal debt ceiling to avoid an unprecedented default. NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOO |
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