One thing I’ve stopped trying to “optimize” in my life is the amount of sleep I get. This more or less comes with the territory of being a new parent. The transition was rough at first, going from a consistent nine hours of sleep each night to waking up three to five times for a newborn.
There’s an ongoing internet debate about the merits of sleep-training, most notably the “cry-it-out” method. The idea is to put the baby down when they’re tired but not fully asleep, eventually teaching them to self-soothe. Some parents swear by it, claiming it saved their sanity and helped their baby learn how to sleep. Others argue it’s unnatural and harmful. Regardless of where one falls on the spectrum, it feels largely like a Western construct—one shaped by the reality of two-income households, the need for adults to function at work, and, ultimately, the demands of capitalism.
On the other end of the spectrum is co-sleeping, assuming it’s done with nontraditional sleep patterns and appropriate precautions. Given that my mom most likely followed this approach with me, it’s something we decided to try with Kai, at least for now. My entire winter break ended up revolving around sleep. For five straight nights, I slept with him independently to transition Kai to exclusively taking a bottle at night. While he woke up more frequently during the earlier nights, he gradually adjusted and is now waking up only once for a late-night feeding, usually sometime between 2 and 5 a.m.
In the end, I’m grateful that winter break gave me the space to make that transition. It allowed me to move him away from nighttime breastfeeding while also helping him sleep more consistently. I also had the chance to be intentional about his wake windows and naps, something that’s harder to manage when he’s at my mom’s house. Getting him to nap and fall asleep in my arms has become easier the more I do it, and I’m confident enough now to say that my monotone singing actually lulls him to sleep.
Hopefully he sleeps well tonight, because I’m back at “real work” tomorrow.
