The Power of Cliques

It’s pretty transparent that all throughout the course of history cliques have been an essential part of how a civilization carries out the course of one’s life. As defined by the “Free Dictionary” a clique is “A small group of people with shared interests, who spend time together and exclude others.” This could be promoted by a common like, or some unifying factor that brings everyone together. At this point in my life though, I am clique-less, which might prove to be one of the reasons I am feeling a little less happy than usual (aside from the recent breakup). Let’s go into details.

To suggest that two of my sisters, Annie and Jenny are in a clique, wouldn’t be that far from the truth. Every time I go home we hang out together (with Nam of course). They’ve been an essential part of my childhood, but there are some things family members (or at least my family) don’t talk about. Which include love, relationships, etc.

At Pyles, I was much of a loner, being alienated by my friends for being weird. To be honest I was a slightly strange child, talking to trees, and getting beat up by Mexicans. Still, I had a “best friend” Danny who pretty much betrayed me every opportunity he got. He was my only “sense of belonging” in elementary school. When our teacher rewarded us with superstars for doing good deeds, I always gave them to Danny. He ended up ratting on me to the teacher for doing so, getting me in indefinite trouble…. The sad part was I was pretty much trying to buy his friendship (with superstars). Being neglected by my hard-working parents created my dependence on said cliques/friendships and girls to provide me an indefinite source of entertainment and attention.

Come my transfer to Stanford elementary and I was still essentially “clique-less”. It was rather embarrassing when my 5th grade teacher came up to me midway through the year and was like “John… Have you made any friends yet?” FAIL. I ended up finding one, in the form of Thiep Mai, who is still my good friend to this date. I didn’t hang out with people outside of school for the most part though…. spending my Saturdays and weekends doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It was not until the summer of 2000 when my first clique form.

CLIQUE #1: Joshua Jaramillo, Annie Tran, me, & Danielle. We hung out all the time (being neighbors and all), united against a common enemy (our other neighbors). Eventually, the clique disbanded with Josh’s eventual departure from Garden Grove. Sad Times.

ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: 4-square, gossip, talking, exploring, handball, basketball, etc.

The rest of middle school resulted in me essentially roaming around at lunch looking for friends. It was definitely sad, as I didn’t have a “group” that I felt I belonged to. Sometimes I would hang out with Thiep, Triet, Vu, and the other “gamers”, but I didn’t feel a sense of belonging because I didn’t play the games they played…. Shrug. Eventually, I found another group.

CLIQUE #2: Kevin Kim, Juan Perez, Minh Quoc Nguyen, & me. Not sure what happened here – but essentially the friendship disbanded when we all reached High school (with Minh’s decision to pursue new friends… ) O_O
ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: Ate lunch together.

High School came, and I clung onto the friends I had from Middle School. I would hang around essentially the honor Asian clique at lunch (Chris, Eva, Howard, Brian, etc.) or the gamer clique at lunch (Triet, Vu, Thiep, etc.). I felt a sense of belonging in the Volunteers of Orange County, as I was pretty much President of the organization. Without hanging out ever outside of campus (minus community service events) I didn’t necessarily feel all that too close to people.

CLIQUE #3: With the end of High School almost near, I eventually branched out and hung out with more people on weekends. Eventually the “FREAKS & GEEKS” developed – a clique with me, Tony, Thiep, George, Christian, Juan, Jose, Kennedy, etc. It pretty much was what it sounds like – a group of a bunch of “outcasts” united against the common cause of fighting against being losers. It was fun as we went to the beach randomly, wrestled in the park, played Melee all day eating pizza, and watched terrible movies. Eventually it disbanded with my decision to attend UCSD and leave indefinitely. While most of them resorted to the usage of drugs for happiness I took an alternative seeking it in other places….
ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: Park, Beach, Melee, Games, etc.

Clique #4: Some cliques eventually formed with my first year in UCSD. It got a tad bit complicated being within the realm of “a suite” in Stewart 400.

Main Clique: Me, John Torres, Howard Nguyen
Outer Clique: Me, John Torres, Howard Nguyen, Brett Sauls, Victor Fung, Leandro Corpuz, Austin West, Ryan O’Hara
400 Clique: (ALL OF ABOVE)+ Jordan, Alexis, Brittney, Leah, Staecy, etc.
408 Clique: (MAIN CLIQUE) + Susan, Stefani, Julie, and Tiffany

With the formation of the “floor family”, essentially me hanging around people that lived on my floor all the time, came a sense of closeness and community. With all of moving in separate directions (apartment-wise), came the fragility of a clique formed on the basis of location.

ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: Eat, talk, watch movies, eat some more, make terrible videos

Clique #5: Programming at Warren Clique. With my decision to ultimately look for happiness outside of my apartment, came the decision to join various programming organizations. Eventually I got super close to the people within PAW: Alex, Lauren, Amy, Rosario, Matt Diamond, Amul, Julia, Tyler. etc. These people formed most of my hangouts Sophomore Year as I escaped an apartment of drama that year….
ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: Zoo, Boardgames, talking, gossiping, etc.

Clique #6: Inter-College Residents Association Clique. With all the drama and unnecessary things ICRA made us do, eventually me, Amul, Geetha, Bee-John, and Rashika bonded together to essentially rebel against the club. We complained about things behind its back as we put up with most of the things they needed us to do. With this bondage came lots of game nights, lots of 24 viewing parties, and lots of “exclusion” of the rest of the ICRA executive board that year. It was grand and fun. With Amul’s migration away, it was hard to keep the clique alive. With me and Geetha’s breakup came a further DIVISION in the clique altogether. Things were essentially done – me and Bee-John remaining close afterwards, and Geetha and Rashika being close on the other side of the fence….

ACTIVITIES DONE TOGETHER: ICRA activities, ICRA bashing, 24, movies, Sprinkles, etc.

With the death of the 6th clique, came a paralyzing effect. Now, in the course of three years, all my cliques have disbanded and I am subsequently left all alone. Clique 4 died when all of us decided to live apart from one another. Clique 5 died with the graduation of certain people and the drifting away of others. Clique 6 clearly died with the breakup. This leaves the essential question of whether cliques are supposed to last. The answer: NO. Cliques always disband, and it’s natural for groups to have a tendency to fall apart at the seams. When I go back home to Orange County I can always rely on Earle & Thiep to hang out with (essentially my Garden Grove clique). As for now, I need to fill both the void in my heart (post-breakup traumatic stress), and the void in my social life. I have a ton of friends, but I don’t feel the sense of closeness I felt with all the previous cliques listed.

Something needs to change. With only 4 months left, it’s about time to push for the final memories that will last a lifetime. Where will I find my last clique? Ron Paul Club? Some Other organization? Only time will tell.