I have a student who comes in every day, and his mood is almost entirely dictated by how his relationship is going—or how his romantic pursuits are going at the moment.
There are times when I wish I could tell him that it gets better, but I also know that in that moment, those words aren’t really going to work. When you’re emotionally stunted or jaded, a piece of you will forever be sad. It’s a part of love and belonging, one of the major tiers of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
I remember my own high school years clearly. My mood was just as tied to my romantic pursuits, or more accurately, the lack of them for most of that time. Rejections, brief relationships, and breakups had an outsized influence on how I carried myself through the day. It’s strange how consuming it all felt then, and looking back I definitely overreacted and dramatized parts of my life. It’s not really like it is on the TV shows.
Because of that, my empathy for students like him continues to grow. At the end of the day we are all looking for love. I found mine, and I hope he finds his too.
