Now that I’m in year 27 of my life, I have a rather keen understanding of who I am as an individual, and what kind of qualities I want to work on for self-improvement.
I have high social anxiety in social situations where I’m in a group of new people. My true character doesn’t really come out until I am more familiar with who I am around, and even then, I prefer social settings with smaller groups rather than huge ones. This has been apparent in virtually every place of employment I have worked, my first year being a little more reluctant to open up to people, and then my comfortability rising with each and every subsequent encounter. Since I am reluctant to open myself up to strangers, it becomes rather imperative for me to try to branch out and try something new this year.
For winter quarter (Phase 1 of the Four Seasons Project), I am detailing on this blog my progress in terms of meeting “new people”. This will be primarily through as many different avenues as possible including and not limited to: volunteering, meeting friends of friends, and of course meetup groups.
I am definitely not exaggerating when talking about how uncomfortable it is to me to meet new people. I tend to overthink things before hand, but I’m starting to realize that’s going to limit my possibility of mental and personal advancement. Because after all, when you step outside of your comfort zone, that’s where all the real magic happens.
The truth of the matter is – people are just people, and hopefully by stepping outside of my comfort zone I will experience the magical 2% mindset as outlined below.
Here’s my progress for the first week in terms of achieving said goal:
- At professional development on Monday, instead of easily socializing with teachers from my own school, I decided to play boardgames with players at another school. It was a familiar game (Settlers of Catan), and one I’m quite fond of, but it was a nice way to ease into socializing with people I would otherwise have not communicated with. It looked like the teachers at my school stopped played boardgames halfway through anyway, instead seeking to play on their phones. Awkward Level was actually 0 for this since it was at a familiar setting at least, and I was playing something I already had expertise of.
- I attempted to go to meetup group for free entrance to the Norton Museum. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but I still ended up going to the museum anyway, the art nearly putting me in a comatose state after a long day of teaching. Some of it was abstract, and rather unique though. Sometimes looking at art like this reminds me of human beings, we’re all just random abstract lump of cells floating in the atmosphere seemingly enjoying our everyday experiences.
- And yet, the true test, is of course talking to people I have never seen before in my life, which required me going to a meetup group this weekend. As opposed to the bar meeting experience, where people can be reluctant to talk to strangers, people at meetups are generally more open to meeting people. Still, there’s moments of awkward silence when you reach a stalemate in a conversation. And yet, once I was there, it became easier to socialize with people. It’s all about confidence and faking it anyway mostly, and I could tell I was probably not the least awkward person there, so that made me feel a little better. What was supposed to be a simple dinner and drinks combination transformed into a nice 4-hour event where we played lots of games at Dave N Buster’s, including my favorite Mario Kart. The two people I hung out with the most at the event were fun (one engineer, and one tax collector) and even if I never see them again, it was nice enjoying their company for just one night. Even if we don’t become “lifeline friends”, I will have improved my social skills slightly in my ability to communicate with strangers.
- Lastly, I went to a training for Anime Expo. Now that I’m an assistant manager, I have more duties I need to be aware of. And despite not knowing anyone outside of online communications thus far, it was an easy experiencing learning the protocols of the volunteer experience. I’m sure I will encounter these people more in the future as well since I’ll have to work with them for the rest of the year.
Week 1 was a success in meeting new people. The goal here isn’t necessarily to make new friends, but rather to improve my social skills to get to a place where I’m more comfortable talking to strangers. Once I get there, I’ll open myself up to Phase 2 of the Four Seasons Project, new experiences.
