I think like many other people in this world, my personality changes depending on the people I’m around.
For example, I put on a pretty tough front in the classroom – my teacher persona being one that combines sternness, sarcasm, and occasional humor. Outside of the classroom I try to be a little more empathetic and nice, and yet at the same time I distance my generosity away from students so they don’t take much advantage and see me as weak.
As I got older, I realized my personality kind of just shifts depending on who I’m around. With certain friends I’m crude and cynical. With other friends I’m nice and philosophical. Maybe it just means I have a flexible personality. When it comes to social interactions though I would hate to categorize myself in the introvert or extrovert box, because I am different in virtually every setting. Hence, I am an “ambivert”, a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. I think most people lean one way or another, but seemingly have to shift personalities depending on who they’re around.
For the second week of the project, my inner introvert or extrovert came out on differing occasions.
- At the MLK Day of Service, me and my volunteer middle school club went to go help renovate West Hollywood elementary school. Around my students I was free to showcase my extroverted self and talk to the people around me. In addition to students, I was able to very easily talk to strangers as well, because I felt in a comfortable element (and in a position of power over control of students). When referred to as “Johnny”, which was the name I indicated on my name tag, I felt awkwardly strange, and yet at the same time at home with the other volunteers on site. I talked out loud, tried new things, and thoroughly enjoyed painting, sweeping, and playing four-square with children.
- At Angel City Brewery for a Reddit meetup, I felt intensely out of place and my introverted side immediately came to fruition. Bars are particularly frustrating places to have conversations, because the music ends up being too loud and overbearing. The setting itself was not conducive to allow me to be myself, causing me to get ultimately discouraged. Being that I am also not consuming alcohol in 2018, that also puts me at another disadvantage. Despite having a few conversations, I felt the event was mostly a bust, but still necessary for me to understand a piece of myself. Setting is an essential key in the ability of my ambivert side to swing one way or another.
- My true side probably came out at the LA Arboretum, where I was able to easily interact with strangers never previously seen before. I took some pictures, had some interesting conversations, and steered myself back to a place of comfort and relaxation. I realized my communication styles worked best whenever I adapted my conversations to the people around me. No matter who you’re talking to, an introvert or an extrovert, the better questions you ask, the better conversations you will produce. And I was able to do so by tapping into what similarities and common interests these people had, whether it was teaching or traveling.
At the end of the day, I saw many different pieces of nature at the LA Arboretum. Staring into the abyss of a tree, I was reminded of the times in elementary school where I struggled to communicate with my classmates, instead opting to communicate with nature (the tree at my elementary school). Trees will never judge you, never talk back to you, and never make you feel uncomfortable. No matter what progress I end up making this year in terms of social improvement, I’ll always be able to turn to nature when I feel alone, uncomfortable, or in need of some inner desire to keep going.
And so, week 2 taught me some valuable lessons about my personality, and I’m hoping to learn more as this winter season progresses.
