Had a brief conversation with Santa today. He told me that Katherine had been nice all year, and that I was naughty. I knew from that moment that this Santa was clearly a fraudster.
The way to improve being naughty? By being nicer to Katherine. How ironic, because I AM THE NICEST PERSON, and the BEST HUSBAND ever. I recently even won person of the year in Katherine’s eyes (see blog post written 2 days ago). If this was the real Santa, he would have known.
Anyway, Santa told me I needed to treat Katherine out to a nice meal. And not somewhere like McDonald’s. He pretty much was implying that I was a cheapass. How rude. He said I should take her to Olive Garden for a nice dinner. Ironically enough, we had already planned on going to Olive Garden immediately after taking photos, where we got the delicious Tour of Italy.
He also said he had spy elves watching everywhere. What a creeper. And that he couldn’t do it himself since he was too busy over-seeing the North Pole. Yeah right, more like he was too busy eating cookies and drinking milk. Not to body-shame or anything.
Anyway, I’ll make sure to be on the lookout for the real Santa and avoid scammers in the future.
