In honor of Mother’s Day this year, I will be ranking a definite list of the best moms throughout human history. This is all done from a purely objective standpoint, so if you disagree, your opinion is already invalid to me.
10. Kevin McCallister’s Mom
The mom from Home Alone. Sure, she “neglected” her child twice and lost him in transit somehow while preparing for a family vacation. Still, she shows her love and devotion to Kevin in her everlasting quest in both movies to find him once she realizes he has disappeared.
9. Stacy’s Mom: The lyrics pretty much speak for themselves for this mother.
8. Grandmother Willow: There’s nothing quite as beautiful and radiant as mother nature. And not only does she give Pocahontas great advice, she gives us advice to carry on for the rest of our days here in the real world.
7. Sarah Connor: The best moms are those that protect their children at our costs. In this case, Sarah Connor helps to protect John from robots from the future (Terminator) and to ultimately save humanity.
6. Maria Von Trapp: Better yet than protecting against robots, Maria Von Trapp protects her children from Nazis in the epic Sound of Music.
5. Tracy McConnell: And yet, the best moms are the ones that are down to earth, relatable, and ultimately someone that you would want to marry in real life. Before they killed her off, she quickly became my favorite character (and mom) on How I Met Your Mother.
4. Daenerys Targaryen: And yet, what could be better than a mother who bears not human children, but dragon ones? The mother of dragons will be instrumental in defeating the White Walkers in the last season of Game of Thrones.
3. Mrs. Doubtfire: Even though he’s not really a mom, in pretending to be a babysitter to see his kids again, Robin Williams showcases a true loyalty, devotion, and commitment to parenting you don’t see in most parents today.
2. Marge Simpson: The mother that raised me, and many other kids of my generation – Marge Simpson represents the voice of reason against Bart’s mischiefs, Maggie’s growing up, Lisa’s existential crises, and of course Homer’s stupidity. Growing up I didn’t like Marge because I felt she was getting in the way of the fun, but as I grow older I understand she was instrumental in holding her marriage together and making sure The Simpsons learned life lessons along each and every adventure (and that nobody died).
1. My Mom: Finally, what better mom is there in the universe than the mother who bore me herself? I imagine I wasn’t an easy child to raise, but I’m glad she struck through and never gave up. A short anecdote: When I was a kid and my mom stayed up late night sewing, she put me to sleep by pretending to sleep next to me. When I woke up again, she would pretend to sleep again, leaving the sewing machine. This process repeated up to 3 times a night if necessary, but reassured me that I had the best mom in the universe.
